EFFEM

2007-07-09T09:26:00.001-07:00

2007-07-09T09:24:00.001-07:00

EFFEM

By Von Fritz Guillen Evangelista

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the author.

Published by VFE Prints Enterprises

Bacolod City, Philippines

__________________________________________

This chenelyn is

super dedicated

to all my amegas,

jugels and murats alike,

for the chuvaness eklats

and the cheka chorvaloos,

and to everyone else

who can understand

this beautiful language.

__________________________________________

“I am but a cloud

between the clashing

firmament and mountains

wondering where to go.”

-VFE, A Plea to Eros

2007-07-09T09:17:00.000-07:00

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being this and may You continue to shower us Your grace. Lord, favor bi. Daw ka lost gid sa akon these days. I want to be happy, inang daw may inspiration bala haw. Tani makita ko na ang akon ‘love of my life’. Biskan sin-o lang da Lord ah. Okey lang nga di mag last but, at least, mangin happy lang ko for quite a time. Sige Lord ha. Amen.

“Hoy Murat!” Nyor called the girl who had just arrived. He was sitting near the aircon at the farthest corner of the room. The BSPsych 3A students were in the AVR early that morning to see a documentary film entitled, The Miracle of Life. “Ngaa super late ka naman ya?”

“Ay sus, pasensiya amega, adlaw na nagbugtaw ang bata,” Violy replied as she put her things on the chair that Nyor reserved.

“Ah kay nag siyada naman kamu ni Kevin last night sa phone ay?”

“La ah!” Violy said defensively.

“Kaw ha… ti sign-in na di ho kay kwa-on na ni ni Miss dugay-dugay ang attendance.”

As Violy signed her name, the lights were put off and the documentary film began to play.

Eduardo Domingo Gregas, Jr., aka Nyor, was a self-confessed homosexual. He discovered himself, or rather herself, when he was 11, as by then he began admiring sweaty basketball players. But he never liked it wearing girly stuffs. He was feminine inside but he wanted to remain masculine outside. It wasn’t that he was hiding in the closet. His parents, in fact, were the first ones to know that he was different from other boys in the neighborhood.

Violeta Jalandoon, aka Violy, once had a feeling that she was a tomboy. But she was illuminated that she was an Eve when she had her first boyfriend in high school. Believe it or not, her latest boyfriend, Kevin, was already her 23^rd boyfriend. She was kind of choosy, one reason that Nyor would sometimes call her a ‘loser’ in love.

Nyor and Violy were best friends. If there’s one thing they had in common, well, gay lingo.

The two never gave full attention to what they were watching. They would just rely to any of their geek classmates if ever a movie review would be required. It turned out that The Miracle of Life was about the reproductive system and the two only glanced at the screen when the genitals were being shown.

They talked about the latest fashion, the spiciest gossips in the campus, and their most favorite topic, M2M - the singing female duo long lost in fame which they still fought being a fan of.

The documentary film lasted for two hours and Nyor and Violy were almost sleeping at the end. They were quick enough to fix themselves as soon as the lights were put on and when everybody was preparing to leave.

“I love the movie. In fairness super nami siya ha,” Nyor muttered as their teacher passed by. He and his best friend were crossing their fingers at their backs.

If there was one person Nyor wanted to be out of the Kalipay Theater Group, that would be Elaine Muzones.

Kalipay Theater Group (KTG) is the most boring club in their school, to say at least. What could anyone expect from theater arts? But it was in the club that Nyor could find solace, where he could treat himself out from the pressure of his academic life. With KTG, his dreams of getting the crown out of Lea Salonga’s head and getting into Broadway were conceived.

Elaine Muzones was the geekiest person Nyor had met so far. She happened to be in KTG courtesy of her linguistic intelligence. It was her overall package that Nyor despised the most. She got kinky hair that was always in ponytail, always had a pencil locked in her ear, and wore three-fourth sleeve blouses during civilian days – more like a Pentecostal. Too old fashioned, Nyor would always think.

KTG produces two plays every year, one for each semester. It had been a trend for the club to give fifty percent of its proceeds to any beneficiary social institutions. For that semester, the club would be producing a play entitled, Ang Manugtapas Tubo, and part of the proceeds would be given to Gawad Kalinga, a private association that build homes for the homeless.

Mrs. Treyes was the hyperactive adviser of KTG. A short woman whose favorite word was ‘bravo’, she had been with the club for almost seven years and had produced artists who became national performers. Nyor liked her a lot. He only hated the saliva showers when she talked.

“Mr. Gregas, you never mentioned to me that you wrote scripts in high school,” Mrs. Treyes said as she approached Nyor who was fixing some props scattered on the floor of KTG office. Nyor felt something wet hit his skin.

Yes, he wrote scripts in high school. But that was ages ago. He could no longer differentiate an act from a scene. “Yes Ma’am…but I’m not really good at it.”

“At least you have an experience. Good thing someone recommended you. Well, you will be working with Ms. Muzones for the script of Ang Manugtapas Tubo.” Mrs. Treyes left after saying the words.

He had no choice. Ambot ah! Of all the people pa naman?

“Kaya mo na Nyor ah, ikaw pa? Di ba ga contribute ka pa gani sa school paper?” Susie, a member of KTG, said as she pat Nyor’s back.

Nyor nodded then replied, “So ikaw nag recommend sa akon ay?”

“Medyo.”

He would have wanted to slap Susie but what good would it do? He was doomed. Ang Manugtapas Tubo would be the worst presentation in the history of KTG.

It was Saturday and the two best friends agreed to hangout at Robinsons. It was around 12:30 and they found each other at the fountain area.

“Oh my gosh! Monyeka, you’re so gay!” Violy screamed as she approached Nyor. Thanks to the sound of the splashing waters, no one seemed to mind their noisy business.

“Mas ka eh! Sapat kah!” Nyor replied. He was wearing a pink T-shirt and jeans while his best friend wore a red razor-back blouse.

“Tom Jones na me amega.”

“Aketch man. Ti where ta ma lafang?”

They ate at KFC. Since it was lunchtime, many people were pushing each other in the counter’s queue. Violy looked for their seats while Nyor took their orders.

Nyor wasn’t aware that he was about to meet the person that would turn his world upside down.

“Thank you Sir, enjoy your meal,” the woman in the counter said.

Nyor gave a plastic smile then turned back. He met HIM at last.

It was not a good preface. One of the glasses of cola on Nyor’s meal plate was spilled.

“Ay sorry…sorry gid Migs,” the guy said apologetically. His hair was uncombed. He wore a black shirt, quite small for his size, and tight jeans. Thrasher was the word for him.

“La kaso ah,” Nyor said as he fixed the meal plate.

“Baklan ta na lang ka bag-o.”

“Indi na lang ah. Sige.” He left because any moment, the guy would surely catch him blushing.

Their table was near the glass window. With the blinding light from the outside, Violy could see how great the smiles of Nyor were as they ate.

“Hoy murat,” she quipped out of silence to get attention. “What’s with your smile? Chika man da bi.”

“May cute to kagina nga boylet ho. Daw thrasher galing. Pero daw kabuot man sa iya.”

“Gaga!” It was so loud that people from the nearby table looked at them. “Tuod murat? Ti ngaa la mo gid siya gintudlo? Sapat ka gid ya.”

“Kay manuglakat naman to siya.”

“Ayteh. Amo lang gid na, grabe na ngisi mo dayon?”

“Amega…I think…I think I’m in love.” Nyor’s face was serious.

And the two chorused, “Charito Solis!”

They spent the whole afternoon window shopping. They would have wanted to watch a movie but there was no flick that made them tick. They sang at the Videoke Rooms of an arcade games center the immortal songs of M2M – Nyor was Marion, and Violy was Margaret.

Nyor left around 7pm while it was a long night for Violy and Kevin’s date.

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being this and may You continue to shower us Your grace. Lord, sure Ka? Is it him? You want him for me? Kabalo ka man guro Lord nga I don’t want to be immoral. I just admire but I don’t want to go beyond Your will. Pero Lord, I confess, daw lain gid bala ang nabatyagan ko sa iya kagina. Okey lang Lord? Gin ask ko man ni di ba? I guess I have to control myself na lang. I know this will never last. Thank You lang gali ah. Amen.

The presentation of Ang Manugtapas Tubo was due in three months time. At first, Nyor was very interested with the play. But upon knowing his assignment with The Geek, he lost his appetite. He wasn’t working with Elaine at all. Bahala siya da ah, he thought to himself.

It was a cold August afternoon when Nyor passed by the Main Lobby. He was surprised as he felt a sudden déjà vu. It can’t be…diri man siya ga study?

He went closer to a group of MedTech students, in their white uniforms, crowding at the bulletin boards. Siya gid ya!

He considered it as a sign. The guy whom he met at KFC, Mr. Thrasher, was a schoolmate.

Mr. Thrasher looked different. He was handsomer in his duty uniform for his hair was combed. It seemed that he didn’t recognize Nyor anymore so the gay-with-an-evil-plan went closer to him to take a peek at his nameplate.

His name was Mikael Muzones III.

“Amega! May good news aketch sa imo!” Nyor’s smile seemed to kiss both his ears. He and Violy were in the food court waiting for their next class.

“Ano Amega? Share.” Violy was putting on powder.

“Mikael Muzones III, BSMT 4.”

Violy stopped her business. “Oh my gosh…Mr. Thrasher?”

“Kuring munding!”

“Nyahaha! Amega, I’m so happy for you. Ayteh, pirmi mo gid siya makita.” Violy hugged her best friend as she replied.

“Korik korik! Ahay murat…daw palangga ko na siya.” Nyor covered his face. He hated blushing. “Yesterday ko lang siya nakita di, sa may bulletin boards nayon sa Main Lobby. Ka cute bi sa iya.”

There was no response from Violy.

“Hoy murat! Naano ka? Daw kaluya sa imo haw?” Nyor shook his best friend who seemed to be out of herself.

“Hisa ko sa imo Nyor ah. Mayo ka pa, blooming ang lovelife,” Violy spoke like a zombie.

“Ngaa naman?”

“La na kami ni Kevin.”

There was a moment of silence. Nyor hugged his best friend tightly. He felt his uniform getting wet. It was no new incident. It happened a lot of times.

“Okey lang na siya frend. Sige, hibi lang. Sus halalongan sang hitso mo…damu ka pa na umbao nga makita.”

“Akon na lang na si Mikael Chuva mo.”

They looked at each other’s serious faces and screamed in chorus, “Charito Solis!”

Saturday afternoon, civilian day. It was 3pm and Nyor thought it was quite early to go home. He sat on a bench in the main lobby with a hidden agenda: backbiting those ladies with horrible outfits.

He was about to send a text message to Violy about a lady in a nauseating color combination when someone tapped his shoulders.

“Excuse ha…di ba ikaw si Eduardo Domingo Gregas, Jr.?” The voice was a bit angelic.

She was none other than, The Geek.

“Huo. Nyor lang bi please. Kalaw-ay sang ngalan ko, daw ka lalaki gid.” Nyor moved his butt to offer a space in the bench.

“Ay sorry ha, ako gali si Elaine.”

“Elaine Muzones…ya, I know you.” Nyor acted bitchy.

“Gani man. Two years naman ta updanay sa KTG di ba?”

“Huo. Pasensiya gali kay la ko ka work with you sa script. Talagsa ta lang ka bi makita,” Nyor was crossing his fingers. Mayo pa nagpuli ko!

“Ay la kaso ah,” she showed a sign of peace and got something out of her bag – a buri bag. Oh my…buri pa ang bag niya, chipangga. What she got was half-an-inch thick bundle of yellow pad. “Actually, natapos ko na. Pakita ko lang tani sa imo and okey lang if may i-change ka or any additional.”

Halalongan ang Lola kay natapos niya na! Nyor received the script without enthusiasm. He glanced at some pages then said, “Grabe ba, the best ka gid ya.” He showed a plastic grin.

“Indi man gid ah. Basi sagad ka pa gani sa akon. Ako ya, gusto ko lang matapos ang work on time.” She looked at Nyor straight to the eyes which made him uncomfortable.

Nyor widened his grin.

“Ti Nyor bilin ko na lang na sa imo? Papuli na ko actually…mayo lang nakita ta ka.”

“Sige halong.”

Nyor transformed his grin to a frown when Elaine was a meter away. He read again the thick script. The truth was he was impressed. After a few minutes, he couldn’t help himself but to recall the face of Elaine. Daw anggid sila tsura…daw kalayu man…daw indi gid ya. She looked at him straight to the eyes. Why did he feel uncomfortable? In fairness, nami sang lips niya ha, he thought.

“Bleh! May number ko di ni Mikael Chuva mo!” Violy teased Nyor as they walked along the West Hall lobby. They would be attending a self-awareness seminar by one of the well-known psychologists in the country.

Nyor stopped walking and stared at Violy with a tiger look. “Tuod bala?”

“Indi ka magpati? Ari ay…0920…blah blah blah…”

Nyor’s hand grabbed Violy’s cellphone as fast as the wind but Violy was faster.

“Chaka ka bala murat ah! Give me na please. Wersu mo na gets?” Nyor was controlling himself not to laugh.

“Duh?! I got frends bala sa MedTech.”

“Whatever! Alert nah…give me the number.” Nyor wanted to scream.

“Libre anay ah. Frappe sa Royal Caribs.” Violy grinned triumphantly.

“Purita Lacson na aketch. Wasel na allowance. Gaan ta na lang ka textmate.”

Violy thought for a few seconds. With a treat or not, she would still give the number to her best friend. “Textmate now, and frappe next week.”

Nyor had no choice. “O sige na ah.”

And they bartered cellphone numbers.

“Gwapo ni ang umbao murat?” Violy asked Nyor as they entered the room for the seminar.

“Super gwapo. Promise.”

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being this and may You continue to shower us Your grace. Lord, daw nahulog na gid ko ya kay Mikael. Sorry lang Lord nga kung kis-a daw di ko gid ma-control ang self ko. And super sorry if kasuyaan sa akon kis-a, kami ni Violy. Kay la lang gid kami bi himuon. But we know it’s wrong. About pa gid gali kay Elaine. Parehos sila bala last name ni Mikael. Galing daw di man sila guro related. Si Mikael daan thrasher, si Elaine ya, dalagang Filipina. I was wrong about her gid ya. Kabuot gali sa iya. Sige Lord, thanks for everything. Till next naman nga chika, hehe. Amen.

A cold Saturday evening.

Nyor: elo!

Mikael: HUS DS PLS

Nyor: i’m violy gli ah. skulm8 mo ko. ka cute cmu.

Mikael: HUH? WER MO GET NO. KO?

Nyor: bsta lang ah. kanami cmu. kabuot. admire ta gid bla.

Mikael: NGE. LAW-AY LANG GD KO. SASKO NI AY?

Nyor: indi ah. bsta ka cute cmu.

Mikael: AYTEH. BASI BULAG LANG KAMO.

Nyor: cute ka ah. cge ah, nyt2.

It was Monday and the BSPsych 3A students were free the whole morning. As usual, Nyor and Violy were at the periodical section of the library. It was their hobby reading the magazines when they had vacant times. And they loved the airconditioned place.

“Monyeka! Kabasa ka sang bag-o nga Seventeen? As in gid ya…may feature sang M2M!” Violy was hyperactive, unlike the previous days.

“Tuod? Mayo eh.”

“Hoy! Naano ka? It’s M2M! Daw ka wala lang ya sa imo?” Violy had meeting eyebrows.

“Mayo gani.” Nyor replied without even looking at his friend. He was busy reading Vogue.

“Sapat ka!” As she said it, Violy snatched Nyor’s magazine and she discovered her friend wasn’t reading at all. On his hand was his cellphone. “Ah kay ga text ka na naman? Ti si Mikael na na?”

“Korik bala frend. Ahay, kabuot gid ya sa iya.” Nyor’s facial expression was something enigmatic.

Violy replied while fixing the magazines they borrowed. “Hoy Eduardo Domingo…basi madalman ka ha. Subong ta lang ka bala nakita ga-amo amo sina. Sakit bala maghigugma.”

“Charing ah. Friends lang kami ya ah. Ginabuhos ko lang admiration ko ya. Anyway, thanks gid gali sa number amega.”

“Anong thanks? Ang frappe ko ya?”

“Sa Thursday ah.”

“Fine. Uy, tabi mo kaw lang ginakilig sa text? Ahem, super texanay man kami bala ni Doms, ang ginhatag mo nga textmate. Buot man siya bala.”

“I told you. Gwapo pa na siya murat. Na meet ko lang man na siya sa Friendster. Wiz pa gid na siya bala kaagi GF. Super opposites gid kamo.” Nyor replied silently because the terror librarian passed by their table.

“Gani hambal niya man,” Violy whispered.

He used to despise stalkers. He had seen how evil they were in movies or in teleseryes. But when he felt the butterflies in his stomach, he understood what stalking was all about. It’s the only way he could do to feed his feelings for Mikael.

Their break was 5pm but he decided to remain in school. He had been loitering in the MedTech lobby for nearly two hours. Haay salamat, mag 7pm break na nila.

When he heard a sound of footsteps, he was invigorated. He had an adrenalin rush. He went near the exit of the lobby and hid behind a tall ornamental plant. By then he noticed that there were flashes of lightning outside. Oh my…daw ma julanetch. Kasabad ah.

Mikael passed by him. Nyor pretended sending a text message in his cellphone to hide his agenda. Clueless, his crush just went on his way.

He followed him. Ahay, ka-gwapo gid ya sa iya.

The clouds gave up when Nyor was almost at the school’s gate. A heavy rain poured. Worse, Mikael shared with a girl classmate’s umbrella.

He defined jealousy as the desire to strangle a girl.

Bala na da ah! Sundan ko na lang sila. He was all wet. He regretted lending his favorite pink umbrella to Violy the other day. Argh!

He stopped in where there was a roof. It was useless though. His bag was wet already but he had none the cares. He just wanted to see the face of Mikael once again. It was a long trail that he walked.

As if a thorn was pulled out of Nyor’s butt upon reaching the main highway. Mikael went out of the girl’s umbrella. The heavy rain left only drizzles. Palapitan ko na lang gid siya ah. He was desperate.

Unfortunately, Mikael climbed up a passenger jeepney bound to Libertad.

Lagi na lang umuulan/ Parang walang katapusan/ Tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon/ Parang walang humpay…

The song Ulan by Cueshe was playing in the jeepney’s radio where Nyor rode home. He cried as he sang along.

Iniwan mo akong nag-iisa/ Sa gitna ng dilim/ At basang basa pa sa ulan…

Ulan became his life’s official soundtrack.

Violy’s wish was granted. They were at the Royal Caribbean that Thursday.

“Yehey! Salamat gid Monyeka ha,” Violy said as Nyor arrived from the counter with their favorite frappe.

“Sapat ka! Andaman mo lang kun may favor ka man dason.” Nyor sat and they both began sipping.

“So kamusta na si Mikael Chuva?”

He was silent for a moment. The memory of his first stalking experience began flooding his thoughts. He lost his appetite. He just wanted to share everything to his best friend.

“WHAT?!” Violy was overreacting. “As in murat super stalk ka gid ya sa umbao? Wow…bilib ko ah, grabe ka gali ma in-love amega.”

Nyor remained serious. He wanted to cry but he thought to himself it wasn’t the perfect time. He kept his tears.

“Loco de amor na me amega. Ambot ano gid na ang ara kay Mikoy ah. Nainit ko!” He simmered his frappe so fast that the ice melted quickly.

“Ambot sa imo da Nyor ah. I’ve been there many times. Amo gid na ang love ya…we have no one to blame about it.” Violy pat Nyor back as she said the words. “Baw, di pa Mikoy Mikoy ka pa sa iya ha.”

Nyor grinned for the first time. “Haha…well, amo na nickname niya. Murat, chikahi na lang me about kay Doms.”

It was a stimulus for Violy to act like someone with ADHD. “SI DOMS?! SUPER NAMI SA IYA NGA TEXTMATE…DAW MAHULOG NA ME GANI SA IYA.”

“Ayteh, may ika 24^th ka na murat.” Nyor sipped the last drops of his frappe. He was usually the first one to finish.

“Hopefully. Galing daw talawit man na siya man…di siya ya magpakita.”

“Huya lang guro ah.”

Mrs. Treyes’ voice was reverberating on all corners of the KTG office. She was mad with the slow work of the props committee. Nyor would bet one million, the air inside the office was humid with her saliva.

“Mr. Gregas, how is the script?” she asked Nyor when she was about to leave the office. Nyor was thankful she wasn’t that cold to him.

“Almost finished Ma’am. Ms. Muzones and I are finalizing everything.”

“Good then. I’ll get it on Wednesday.” She was gone.

Nyor was left alone. Their meeting was quite short and informal and few had attended. Maybe, Mrs. Treyes just wanted the props people to hasten their work. He stayed in the office for thirty minutes looking at the progress of everyone’s job.

When he was about to leave, Elaine arrived.

“Hala! Tapos na ang meeting Nyor?” She was panting as she put her buri bag on a chair.

“Yes girl. Super akig bala si Mrs. Treyes. Where ka ya halin haw?” He acted bitchy again.

“Kay may gin kuha pa ko nga letter. Ihatag ko gid kuno dayon sa father ko. Ti na mention niya ko?”

“So far, wala man.” Nyor was now confident talking to The Geek. But they were not yet that close. “She will get the script on Wednesday.”

“Hala! Ti natapos mo na edit? Okey lang?”

“Okey gid. Sagad sa imo no? Ari gali ho.” Nyor gave the script to Elaine. He was ashamed of the fact that he had only touched a few pages. Everything was almost perfect. “Ti ikaw na lang ma submit sa Wednesday? Dapat ma master na ni ka mga actors ASAP.”

“Sure gid. Nyor, pwede lang ko kauna? I need to give the letter to my father man ASAP. Diri ka lang ya?”

“Huo, may ginaubra pa ko. Sige, halong.”

She fled in a hurry. Nyor lied. He could have gone with her but he didn’t want to mingle. He stayed for a while making sure Elaine would be too far when he would be getting out. When he thought he had enough time, he began to turn off the lights.

There was something beneath the chair beside the main door.

Hala! Ang letter sa father ni Elaine!

Nyor was even shocked when he read the following:

Mr. Mikael Muzones Jr.

Blk. 4, Lot 5, Viva Maria Subd.

Brgy. Taculing, Bacolod City

6100 PHILIPPINES

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being this and may You continue to shower us Your grace. Hala Lord! Brother gid ya gali ni Elaine si Mikael. Kalayu bala. But now that confirmed ko na nga siblings man gid sila, daw gapareho na sila face. Hehe. Indi man ko diyapon ka believe. Hmmm, daw damu surprises Lord haw. Sige lang ah, go with the flow. Update ta lang ka Lord ah. Amen.

Monday noon.

Violy: Oist!

Doms: hi vi! msta n?

Violy: K lng. Wer ka?

Doms: blay. mati music. kaw?

Violy: Ri ko Rob. Apas di.

Doms: kapoy ko. may quiz kmi tom. study ku l8r.

Violy: Kdamu cmu pirmi alibi no? Di mo gd ko gusto ma meet?

Doms: di ah. busy lng gd me. may tym gd na ah.

After their afternoon class, Nyor went to Capitol Lagoon. He knew that the BSMT 4D had no class that day so Mikael had only one place to go.

Everyday, around 5 pm till late in the evening, the roller-skating rink in the Capitol Lagoon is always crowded with teenagers. The rink that was supposed to be used for roller-skating was utilized by adventure-seeking boys, majority were thrashers, for skate boarding. There had been a city ordinance which banned skate boarding in the area but that was no hindrance for young marauders. Everyone had to run whenever there’s a siren.

He bought popcorn from a traveling kiosk and munched it as he spied around the rink. Thrashers were in a troop. Nyor used to call them ‘filth’. Thrashers wear outfits from the ukay-ukay, smoke and drink a lot, rebellious in nature. But his perception about them changed upon meeting Mikael. Iban sa ila napilitan lang man sang barkada. Buot sa ila, ka deep mag-talk. And some are clean.

He saw him.

Infatuation. Idolatry. Insecurity. He would not consider his feelings for Mikael as ‘love’. Ka wrong gid ya. Mayo pa la ko na lang ni gin ask. Life was better before I felt this.

He enjoyed watching him skating. Mikael was invincible to tumbles and falls, almost all those who are skating. They defy gravity. Who would laugh at them?

He was staring at his crush for quite a long time but it seemed too short for him. He was stunned to see his box of popcorn empty. It was already 8:30pm so he decided to go home. He passed by the tilapias and showered to them the remains of the popcorn.

Lagi na lang umuulan/ Parang walang katapusan/ Tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon/ Parang walang humpay…

The song was playing again on the jeepney were he rode. Now, he was smiling.

He waited at the KTG office on Wednesday afternoon. He never felt so excited. He would give the letter to Elaine and extract everything from her about her handsome brother.

“Elaine!” Nyor stood up quickly when the person he had been waiting for appeared from the door.

“Uy Nyor! Musta?” Elaine wiped the sweat on her forehead.

“Okey lang. Ti nahatag mo na ang script kay Mrs. Treyes?” Nyor wanted to have a good introduction.

“Yup. Impressed siya.” Elaine chuckled. “Well, BRAVO daw.”

“Ang fave expression niya naman? Hey, may nabilin ka di bala last time.”

“ANG LETTER?!”

Nyor nodded. He showed the letter to Elaine.

“Haay salamat!” She hugged Nyor to his surprise. “Salamat gid Nyor. Ahay, kigan gid ko tani ni Papa.”

He wouldn’t want to release her. He was hugging his…sister-in-law? Buangit ka bala Nyor, he thought to himself. He released her.

“May brother ka gali sa MedTech?” He said the words naturally, trying not to be obvious.

“Yup. Si Nong Mikoy?”

“CRUSH KO NA SIYA BALA!”

Thus it began. It was vague, whether it was the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning. Nyor poured everything to Elaine who was stunned silent. He confessed being Mikael’s stalker. To hell with the world. Nyor never felt so open with someone about his feelings.

“Kalaw-ay man na kay Manong Nyor,” Elaine replied at last.

“Ahay, nagwapohan gid ko sa iya ya. Parehos kamu kabuot.”

“Skate lang na ubra niya,” Elaine was a bit shy as she talked. “Kag computer pa gid.”

“And namian siya reggae di ba? Favorite color niya green?”

“Baw, bal-an mo gid tanan bah.”

“Huo eh. Amo ko na ka fanatic sa brother mo.” Then Nyor became serious. He held Elaine’s hand with his and said, “Secret ta lang ni Laine ha. Basi mangakig si Mikoy.”

Elaine laughed. “Sure ah, la lema.”

They exchanged numbers before they parted.

Violy’s mother was Nyor’s second mother. Josie Jalandoon liked Nyor very much. She would laugh a lot every time Nyor was in their house. Nyor liked her too, especially her baked chicken macaroni.

They were unwinding at Violy’s house watching music videos of M2M. It’s Saturday. They had all the time.

“Ari na ang paborito mo Nyor.” Tita Josie arrived in the sala with her very own baked chicken macaroni.

“Wow! Si Tita bala, bal-an niya gid ang paborito ko. Charing!”

“Sapat na siya Ma ya. Sungak sungak!” Violy threw a throw pillow towards Nyor.

“Uy indi man ah, palangga ko ni si Nyor ya.” When the food was properly served on the center table, Tita Josie left saying, “Hija, Nyor, bilin ta lang kamu di sa house ha. May swimming kami sa balay sang kumare ko.”

Nyor chuckled. “Si Tita gali ga-swimming pa?” He turned to his best friend.

Violy threw a second throw pillow towards Nyor. “Gaga! Mah-jong session ang gina mean niya!.”

They laughed till their stomachs ached.

Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you/ Boy, I’ll never ever love no one before you/ Pretty pretty boy of mine/ Just tell me you love me too…

“Nainit ko kay Doms Nyor ah,” Violy said as they began eating.

“Why murat?”

“Kay di gid siya ya mag pakita sa akon ya. Gin-add ko na siya sa Friendster…galing kay ang mga pics niya subong mga rockstar man to.”

“Really? May pic na siya bala last time nga iya gid ya. Moreno siya…may braces pa gani.” Nyor was concentrating on his food.

“Tuod? Ambot ah, huya gid siya bala sa akon. Juging na siya guro.”

Nyor screamed, “Charito Solis!”

After they watched all the videos of their favorite duo, they fixed the dishes and proceeded to Violy’s room. Nyor was at home, jumped at his best friend’s bed as they arrived.

He helped Violy fold her blouses fresh from the labandera.

“Murat, guess what.” Nyor had sparkling eyes.

“Ano girl? Share.”

“Mag-utod gid si Mikoy kag ang The Geek.”

“Hoy tuod?! Baw, daw grabe nga coincidence ba.” Violy went closer to Nyor – a typical tsismosa.

“Actually, mayohay na kami ni Elaine. Buot gali sa iya. Pirmi na kami ga-talk. And gatexanay pa kami gani. Super ask gid ko everything about sa brother niya.” Nyor smiled. And he was blushing.

“Ahem…Elaine? I smell something fishy.” Violy acted sniffing.

“Gaga! Ano naman haw?”

“Daw ga smile ka gid pag mention mo kay Elaine haw?”

“Ti ano gid haw? Hambal ko gani kabuot sa iya. And kanami sang lips niya.” Nyor was silent for a while. Then, as he put the folded blouses in the cabinet, he muttered, “Gaga ka ba? Jugels aketch.”

“Charito Solis!” Violy screamed.

Tuesday, late in the evening.

Nyor: hi laine! gud eve.

Elaine: Hi. Bugtaw ka pa?! Gab-i na!

Nyor: ay xenxa. msta k n?

Elaine: Ari bed eh, ma sleep na!

Nyor: ah k. akig ka?

Elaine: Di ah! Ngaa haw?!

Nyor: ngaa may exclamation point gd kda reply mu hw?

Elaine: Ti kay amo ko ni mag text ya!

Nyor: ah k. kay filing ko daw akig k skun.

Elaine: Indi ah. Ti di ko pagbutangan eh.

Nyor: hehe. free ka tom? treat ta ka tani.

Elaine: Okey ah. Text lang.

Nyor: k. tekers.

Nyor felt uncomfortable as he waited at Nana’s Grille. He had never invited a girl to a lunch. Violy usually invite him. Ambot ah, kabuang na gid sa akon ah.

Elaine came around 12:30. She was carrying some thick books which she placed on the table as soon as she arrived and found Nyor. “Haay kakapoy. Sorry Nyor ha, nag borrow pa ko books sa library. Katalaka bi sang librarian ah.”

“La kaso girl ah. Ang tigulang nga tambok? Katalaka man gid na sa iya ya.” He chuckled. He waited for Elaine to settle down in her seat then gave her the menu book. “Pili na da.”

“Huya ko Nyor ah.”

“Duh?! May huya ka pa sa akon?”

They laughed.

Nyor ordered the chicken curry meal while Elaine ordered sarsiadong atay. Nyor was turned off. He never liked eating liver or any animal internal organs.

“Namian ka gali atay Laine?” Nyor asked Elaine as they ate.

“Huo. Paborito ko ni. Kag paborito man ni ni Nong Mikoy.”

“Baw! Really? Paborito ko man na bala.” He had a gag reflex as he said the words.

After lunch, they went back to their school. They both have a class by 3pm. They were chatting on their way.

“Pakilala ka nalang bala kay Manong Nyor,” Elaine said seriously.

“Huh? Haler? Duh? Basi sumbagon niya ko na ya,” Nyor replied in exaggeration.

“Indi man guro ah. Actually bala, daw abot niya.”

“WHAT?! Ahay, ginsugid mo ko ay?” Nyor grabbed Elaine’s arms to her surprise. It seemed like they were getting closer.

“Hoy wala ah. Ginsunlog ko lang siya one time. Then nagmuno siya nga may gasunod sunod kuno sa iya nga guy kuno. Hambal niya, basi siya na ang textmate niya nga ga pretend lang as Violy.” It was a spontaneous reply which means Elaine was speaking the truth.

“OMG! As in? Hala, abot niya na gid ko gali eh…from the start pa guro.”

“So it seems. Gusto mo pakilala ta ka haw? Buot na bala si Manong.”

Ay nano man ni nga sisterhood ya man. Gina-konsenti niya pa ko sa magulang niya, Nyor thought. “Huya ko. Sige lang. I’ll think about it.” Deep inside, Nyor wanted to jump. He was blushing.

They passed by the bulletin boards before they parted. Elaine posted the advertisement posters for Ang Manugtapas Tubo.

“Sige Nyor ha, thanks gid sa lunch. Text text lang ah,” Elaine said as she turned to the Liberal Arts Building lobby.

“Sige, thanks for the company.”

When Elaine began walking away, Nyor called her again. “Ay Laine! Ano gani religion mo?”

“Catholic eh! Ngaa haw?!” Elaine shouted. Her voice echoed around the corridor.

“A wala ah. Sige…tekers!”

Nyor’s entry to his diary that night was four-pages long.

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being this and may You continue to shower us Your grace. Lord, I’m so sinful. I’m regretting about sa ginpangayo ko ah. Yes, I’m enjoying it. But the more I go deeper, I know nga ma-lead gid ni sa pagka-immoral. Lord, help me control myself. Actually bala Lord, daw may na sense ko sa mga events nga gakalatabo. I’m in doubt. I’m confused. Is this just a part of Your plans for me? Kaw Lord ha…damu Ka gid bala surprises. Sige ah, que sera sera. Love ya Lord. Amen.

“Sapat ka gid Nyor ya! Jega-on ka! Ngalan ko pa gin-gamit mo gali?” Violy threatened to scratch Nyor’s face with her sharp fingernails.

“Sorry na frend. Soriso na amega, patawarin mo na aketch,” Nyor said as he kneeled in front of his best friend. “Kay la na gid me may na-think nga name that time. Super sorry na.”

They were in MO2 at Goldenfields chilling that Friday. Nyor was tipsy and he slipped his tongue about pretending as Violy for Mikael.

Violy wasn’t mad at her best friend actually. She just wanted to play. Vengeance she wanted after all.

“Ay biskan magsuka ka pa da Nyor sa dance floor ho, judi ta gid ka mapatawad. It hurts to me.” Violy wanted to laugh at Nyor.

“Sorry na gani amega. Forgive me na…ano gusto mo? Isa ka drum nga frappe?”

“Kiss my foot.” Violy had glittering eyes.

Nyor hesitated for a moment. But if that was the only way to be forgiven, he never thought of the odds and bowed down to kiss Violy’s feet. As his lips neared Violy’s feet though, Violy stood up quickly and laughed so hard.

“Daw gaga ka bala Nyor. Haay, jubebang ka na gid guro ay? Ma kiss ka gid ya sa tiil ko? Nyahaha! Haay, katalawaan sa imo ah.” She sat back down. “I forgive you na ah.”

“Tuod frend? Ay! I love you gid ya amega!” Nyor hugged Violy, went back to his chair, got his drink, and had a toast with his best friend.

Since he got nothing to hide, Nyor confessed everything to Violy. It wasn’t much. He had some clarifications.

They planned not to go home that night. They wanted to try a night with nowhere to go to. They drank till midnight and left Goldenfields around 1am.

They proceeded to Star Mart to warm their stomachs with cup noodles.

“Haay, kanami sang life frend,” Nyor muttered as he stretched himself.

“Korik amega. Tani amo ta ni always.”

They ate the hot noodles slowly.

“Nyor, tawgan ta si Mikoy?” Violy grabbed Nyor’s phone.

“Duh?! Tulogetch na ni siya ya.”

“Hoy! Pala-pulaw bala mga thrashers. Try ta lang.” Violy was so eager.

“La me load.”

“Ti sa phone ko eh.” At that moment, Violy got her phone and began dialing.

Mikael’s cellphone was ringing but he wasn’t answering.

“Teh, tulog na siya ay?” Nyor distracted his best friend.

Violy jumped with her fifth try. Mikael answered at last!

“Hello?” Violy had a tongue-out for Nyor as she began talking to Mikael.

Nyor stopped eating. He was stunned. His heart beated so fast. He wanted to grab the phone from Violy.

Mikael: Hello? Sin-o ni? Sorry, la ko na feel vibration sang phone ko.

Violy: Ah la kaso ah, ako gani dapat mag-sorry kay nag-call ko kaagahon. Tulog ka na?

Mikael: La pa man ah, galantaw ko movie, pulaw gani. Sin-o ni haw?

Violy: Ay, this is Violy gali.

Mikael: Ah okey. Haha…baw, nag-call ka gid ba.

Violy: I made this call to make clarifications.

Nyor felt like he was exploding. It was as if there was a time bomb somewhere. The end is near.

Mikael: Huh? What do you mean?

Violy: Sorry Mikael ha, but I’m not the Violy nga ga text gid sa imo.

Nyor exploded. He snatched Violy’s cellphone to talk to Mikael.

Nyor: Hello? Mikael, ako si Violy nga ga text sa imo. Sorry, Nyor’s my real name.

Violy was speechless. But she never bothered anymore her best friend’s conversation with the one he loved.

Mikael: Hahaha…ah okey. Hahaha!

Nyor: Kadlaw ka gid haw? Ahay, akig ka sa akon ay?

Mikael: Di ah…tawa lang ko ya. Actually daw abot ko man nga guy ga-text sa akon.

Nyor: Ahay…sorry Nong ha. Basi abot mo man ko nga gasunod-sunod ko sa imo sa school.

Mikael: Ah la kaso ah. Intsindihan ko na ya.

Nyor: Kay ka cute bi sa imo Nong. Kag kabuot pa.

Mikael: Ara ka naman. Diin kamo?

Nyor: Ri kami sang frend ko sa Star Mart. Nag nightout kami. Hehe. Iya ngalan gingamit ko sang una.

Mikael: Haha. Ay, kadungol sa inyo no? Ti enjoy lang kamo da ah. Tapuson ko pa watch ang movie.

Nyor: Sige Nong. Thanks gid.

He didn’t want to end the call. Nyor felt like a butterfly that was freed from the cocoon. His conversation with Mikael made his night complete. He had said everything. He could not believe it.

“Sapat ka! Three minutes gid na consume mo bah!” Violy said as she checked her cell phone.

“Bayran ta ka ah! Ahay friend…I’m so happy. Super thanks gid ya.” Nyor’s eyes were glittering.

“So how does it feel?”

“Feeling ko daw murat aketch.”

They looked at each others faces and screamed, “Charito Solis!”

The spent the rest of the dawn chatting in the swings of the Provincial Capitol Lagoon.

A windy Saturday.

Doms: oist!

Doms: ?

Doms: violy?

Violy: Nainit ko sa imo!

Doms: why?

Violy: Ky ngaa d k gd mgpkta s akn hw?

Doms: ky busy gd k bla lst tym.

Violy: T busy k p till nw?

Doms: daw tawhay nmn.

Violy: T pwde k n pkita s akn?

Doms: la lema ah.

Violy: really? Pa Gaisano City me l8r.

Doms: t kitakits ta to?

Violy: Cge. Text lng karon. Ra lang me sa National Bukstor.

Doms: k ah.

National Bookstore, Gaisano City. 3pm.

Violy: Wer ka na?

Doms: coming na me.

As she waited, Violy scanned some new books in the bookstore. Her favorite section is the lane of Philippine Literature. She loved to read the novels of Lualhati Bautista and the contemporary essay anthologies of Jessica Zafra and Bob Ong.

Violy: I’m wearin white gli ha.

Doms: k. naka-green ko.

Seeing the lane of children’s books, Violy remembered her best friend. Nyor loved children’s literature. He’s the No. 1 Harry Potter fanatic for Violy. He could enumerate all the characters of JK Rowling’s world as well as the different spells and magical potions. Aside from Harry Potter series, Nyor also read A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket.

Time seemed so fast as Violy loitered in the bookstore. She read excerpts from some newly released novels. She was already shivering with a long exposure to aircon. When she looked at her watch, she was surprised that it was already 4:30pm. Diin na ni si Doms ya man. Daw indianon niya ko haw.

Violy: Hoy! Dn ka na?!

Violy: Psst! Gina p me w8 bla.

Violy: Reply man bi!

It was 5pm already and not even Doms’s shadow arrived. Violy saw four persons wearing green entered the bookstore. One was an old man in striped green polo. Then there was a man, father figure, in green T-shirt with a message, ‘I think not the color of my shirt’. The third one was a young boy in a green jumper who was flipping the pages of a pop-up book. Violy was nauseated seeing the last person she saw in green, an old transvestite who concealed his wrinkles with thick makeup.

Argh! Gin indian niya gid ko ya. Andaman niya lang na kung mag text text siya sa akon.

“Hoy murat!”

Violy was surprised when someone called her as she came out of the Philippine Literature section.

“Amega! Sapat ka! Ari ka man di?” Violy hugged Nyor and they did beso-beso.

“Ayteh, ri ka man di gani,” Nyor fixed his shirt as he replied. “Uy! Nagbakal na ko Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince gali. May paperback na da bi ho.”

“Baw ah…kumpleto na gali collection mo?”

“Yes girl. Ti kaw ya? Gina ka pa di?”

It took a moment for Violy to reply. “Huo, gina pa ko di. Actually, la man me plano mag-buy book. Ma-eyebolets kami tani ni Doms chay.”

“WHAT?!” Nyor shrieked. “As in? Ti kitana mo na ang umbao?”

“La gid bala. Indiana Jones ang sapat. Bay-i da siya ah. Keber.”

“Charito Solis! Texi siya bala.”

Violy sighed. “Gina pa ko bala ga text sa iya murat pero wala gid siya ga reply.”

“Baka lobatis.”

“Keber keber keber aketch.”

They left National Bookstore and ate at Quan. By then, Violy spoke a little. She was a bit disappointed. Nyor comforted her.

The truth was that there was one thing that bothered Violy.

Nyor wore a green T-shirt.

One month to go before the semestral presentation of KTV. One afternoon, at the rehearsal, the air was humid again with Mrs. Treyes’ saliva. The actors and actresses had already memorized their lines. But the adviser was mad about their acting. “For goodness sake students…please act with feelings…business…your blockings…levels…”

“O Susana, matahum ko nga pinalangga…”

“STOP Mr. Pahilanga! Speak like a man! There’s no masculinity in your voice.”

“O Pedro, indi gid kita bagay…ako isa lamang ka anak sang sakada…”

“STOP Ms. Colmenares…did you forget that you are the daughter of the manugtapas tubo? You speak like a señorita! Presence of mind…please please…we have a month to go…”

Everyone in the production was stressed.

“Hala Nyor, proud gid ko bala…” Elaine said. She and Nyor were watching the rehearsal from the bleachers.

“Proud for?”

“Sa play…well, it’s our words coming out from their mouths.”

“Ya right…hmmm, la na guro mas happier pa sa isa ka writer than seeing his or her work played on stage.”

“You should be proud of yourself too…”

Shudil gid. Ikaw man lang mostly nag work, Nyor thought guiltily.

“Ay Laine, may sugid ko gali sa imo.”

“Ano?” Elaine kept her eyes focused on the stage. Mrs. Treyes was now acting herself, to demonstrate to an actress the proper way of weeping on the floor.

“Uhmm, gintawgan namon sang friend ko si Nong Mikoy. Kabalo na siya.”

“WHAT? Baw, la gid siya nagmuno sa akon ba. Ti happy ka gid ay?”

Nyor grinned. “Yes bala. Kabuot sa iya. And hambal niya, abot niya na man gid tuod.”

“I told you.”

“Amo gid kamu na nga mag-ulutod ya?”

“Nga ano?”

“Buot.”

Elaine chuckled. “Huh? Indi man gid ah. Medyo dungol man kis-a.”

“For sure amo na nanamian sa imo sang nobyo mo…”

“NOBYO? La ah…la me ya anay sang amo sina.”

“Ows? Ka-gwapa sa imo then la ka pa lovelife? Impossible-”

“But true!”

“Owkie ah. Relax lang mega…daw ma-gwa ka gid sa panit mo.”

“Kaw bala Nyor ah…ginapakadlaw mo lang ko pirmi.” Elained tapped Nyor’s shoulder as she said it.

Nyor felt like electrified. Why am I blushing? That was the question.

Mrs. Treyes’ bravos were reverberating on all corners of the quadrangle.

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being this and may You continue to shower us Your grace. Lord, somehow, may idea na ko about sa plan mo. Hmmm...it wasn’t really Mikoy ay? He was just your instrument. You wanted me to fall for Elaine? Right? Right? Haynaku…kaw bala Lord. You always wanted me to do the right thing. And I’m glad. Congratulations…you succeeded! It’s weird. Amo ni gali ma in-love sa girl? I’m trying hard to be humble. Daw indi na ko si Nyor. Elaine is changing my life Lord. I dunno. Basta happy gid ko. Ei, bless me gali…hmmm…I’m planning to court her pero indi me kabalo. Hehe. Sige Lord ah. I hope that on my next prayer, I’m praying for both of us already. Amen.

It was Sunday afternoon and after attending the mass at Lupit Church, Nyor visited Violy in their house.

“Hi Tita Josie!” Nyor greeted his best friend’s mother as they did a beso-beso.

“Uy Nyor, ari ka man?” Josie replied.

“May i-chika lang ko tani kay Violy Tita…”

“Ay mayo gid kay nag-abot ka…kagina pa na sa kwarto niya si Violy ay. La man gasabat kun mangkuton. La na gani nag-lunch.”

“Ay naano amega ko man? Ti kadtuan ko na lang siya Tita.”

“Sige…dul-ong ko lang da karon paborito niyo nga snack ah. Haha!”

Nyor wondered what his best friend’s problem might be. The last time she never went out of her room for a day was when she broke up with Jonathan, her 19th boyfriend with whom they lasted for five months.

“Hello? Murat?! Nyor here. Buksan mo na aketch…” Nyor knocked thrice. When Violy finally opened the door, he screamed as if seeing an old faggot in pajamas.

“Gaga!” Violy quipped. “Ri ka man chay? Sulod…”

Nyor went inside Violy’s room and began cuddling her Winne the Pooh stuffed toy. “Naano ikaw murat? Daw nag tigolbam ikaw. Ang beauty mo ay. Depressed ka na naman?”

“Indi ah. Daw gaga ka bala. Lapyo lang aketch…and may ginapaminsar lang ah.”

“Ang ano naman na amega. Abi share…kay may i-share man ko after.”

“Hmmm, ano gusto mo, the good one or the bad one?”

“Sosyalan! Ang good anay ah.”

“Love ko na si Doms! As in! And I accept kon ano man siya…”

Nyor swallowed his saliva. His eyebrows met. “Huh? Accept mo kun ano man siya? Anetch siya haw? Gorilla? Tikbalang?”

“Gaga! I mean is…basi confused lang siya sa self niya…basi feminine lang gid siya ya.”

“HOY MURAT! Umbao nga tunay ina bala si Doms ya. And sorry if I lied…nakita ko na na siya gali in person. Recently lang man. Schoolmate ta man na siya. Pero la ko na siya gin-confront kay he was thinking I’m a Muraya Carey.”

“Asus ah…defensive!” Violy grinned. Her anxious look seemed to get better. “Well, basta lang ah…mabal-an ko man diyapon ang truth.”

“O sige na ah. Ang bad news ya?”

At that moment, Violy became serious again. He went to the door, closed and locked it. “Shhh…hinayon ta lang spyoking ta ha. Basi mabatian kita ni Modra…”

“Anetchiwa haw?”

“Kay si Kevin bala Nyor haw,” Violy spoke almost in whispers. “Nagkit-anay kami sang Friday sa gwa sang school. Na shock aketch lang gid ya ha. Nangayo siya ya bala sa akon datongski.”

“Ay ka-langka sa iya. La man siya nahuya? But di ba richness man na sila?”

“Biskan nano ka pa da ka rich chay, kun addi-” Violy didn’t want to finish the word.

“Ano? What did you say? ADDICT? Addict ang latest ex mo?”

“SHHH! Ambot ah…katunog bala sang voice mo!” Violy’s movements was that of a paranoid. “Nyor, secret ta lang gid ni ha. Kay la gid ni kabalo si Mama. Actually, amo na ang reason why gin-break ko siya.”

“Ay best decision gid gali friend. Huthutan ka lang na niya kun nagpadayon pa kamo.”

“Gani man. Pero daw gin kulbaetch aketch. Wez aketch nag gwel since last night. Basi bala ra da siya tubang house haw.”

“Ahay friend…sige lang, bisan badash imo best friend, I will protect you ah.” Nyor hugged Violy. “Shudel na bala mag worry. Tani upod pa ta gina simba sa Lupit Church. Shocks! Kanamit sang mga seminarista chay!”

“Gaga! Pati mga manug-pari pa gid ya?” Violy chuckled. She seemed to be released from her paranoia when Nyor promised for her protection. “Uy, te ano ya ang cheka mo murat?”

Nyor was speechless for a moment. He released Winnie the Pooh from his constricting arms. He composed himself well before he spoke the following words: “I’m in love with Elaine.”

Silence was Violy’s reply. She was happy and, at the same time, disappointed with the reason she never knew. “The Geek? You fell for her? Well, just as I expected.” Violy wanted to cry and she didn’t know why. “Gaga ka bala Nyor! You’re mysterious. Siling ko gid nga may lalaki man diyapon sa sulod mo…”

“Gani amega. And this is a crisis for me. I don’t know how to undo my behavior. I want to court Elaine. But how will she react with this?”

KNOCK! KNOCK!

While Nyor was sharing to Violy about his feelings for Elaine, Josie came with her baked chicken macaroni. “Snack time!”

“Thank you Tita,” Nyor muttered.

As they ate, Nyor continued to pour out his plans for Elaine.

Violy continued to feel her aching heart.

Exam days are approaching. Everyone was busy photocopying some notes, finishing some unfinished projects for rush submission, and falling in line in the deadly queues at the accounting office paying for tuition. Nyor had already paid at the cashier. He was waiting for his exam permit to be released.

“Amega, daw mabusdik na bladder ko. CR me anay…pwede miscall mo ko kun ginlawag na ha,” Nyor requested Violy who was also suffering in the queue with him. She was done already but she decided to accompany her best friend.

“Sureness friend. Dasigon mo ha.”

Nyor left the queue and went to the nearest restroom.

SHOCKS! Nyor thought as he approached the corridor to the CR. Katalaketch ah…whysu diri pa? Relax…relax…

Nyor felt more nervous as he went on his way. He had a hesitation to go back and look for other restrooms. Galing daw ka obvious na gid na ya.

It would be fine if he had only seen Mikoy. The problem was, he was with his friends and they seemed to be teasing him. Nyor went on with his eyes on the floor.

“Tol, chicksilog ho…”

“Migs, teh lugoson ta?”

“Darna!”

Nyor was badly humiliated hearing the words of Mikoy’s friends. He wanted to slap them all. Mikoy just smiled saying nothing.

Thank God, Nyor though when Mikoy and his friends didn’t enter the CR. They just remained outside. But since the door was open, he could still hear their insults.

“Gusto ko magkaon chupaghetti…”

“Migs, lalagson ka gid ya.”

“This guy’s in love with you, pare…”

Nyor controlled his temper. Yes he was gay but he was never insulted that much. He decided to face Mikoy’s friends and avenge himself verbally. Unfortunately, the gang was gone when he went out. Mga sapat sapaton. Mga chakaness lang gid po!

Nyor never went back to the queue. His name was called already and Violy got his exam permit. His best friend was waiting on a bench nearby.

“Ti ara na friend?”

“Huo bala! Ginalawag name mo sang bag-o ka lang gid naghalin. Which means, gina pa aketch dirilj. Ngaa ka dugayetch sa imo chay haw?”

Nyor fell silent. He sat gently on the bench wiping his face with a pink handkerchief.

“Anetch na?” Violy insisted for Nyor to answer.

“Kay si Mikoy bala haw…”

Thus he told his best friend, in details, what happened at the CR along West Hall corridor.

“Ano? Super ginbastos ka gid nila amega?!” Violy said in a loud voice. “Diin na na sila? Pamatyon ta na sila!”

“Gaga! Pahimunong bala anay…basta amo na natabo chay. Then si Nong Mikoy ya ga pa-cute lang. La niya gid me gin defend.” Nyor acted as if wiping his tears.

“Drama ah! Es pates Charito Solis.”

“Tuod ni bala friend. As in na turn off aketch kay Mikael ah.”

“Charot!” Violy hugged Nyor. “Haay…paka-lalaki na lang bala friend. Gusto mo ako na lang nobya mo? Chos!” Admit na lang bala nga ikaw si Doms. Okey lang…palangga ta man ka Nyor ah.

“Gaga ba you? Babaylan aketch.” Kung kabalo ka lang friend. Gustohon ko man nga ma-nobya ka, mas palangga ko si Elaine.

The school paper released its annual literary folio, Whispers, after the exams. Students wouldn’t mind the distribution of the tabloids and magazines but the distribution of the literary folio was a big deal for them. As soon as the news spread of its release, many had been asking for copies.

Elaine was eager to grab a copy of Whispers but the first copies ran out at the school paper’s office. The editor-in-chief announced that other copies would be arriving by the next week. Disappointed, she went to the KTG office hoping that the office might have some special sent copies.

“Elaine! Sosyalan ka girl! Starring ka sa Whispers!” Susie said loudly seeing Elaine entering the office.

“Huh? Ako? Paano?”

“Duh? Basaha na lang bala girl.” Susie gave Elaine a copy of the literary folio which she had been reading for an hour already. The cover was a bit crumpled which meant some others had been reading it in the office before.

A SONNET FOR LANIE

By Eduardo Domingo Gregas Jr.

for Lanie E. Nesmuzo, with love

How could I ever prove that I love you –

If all you do is thinking of my past?

How could I let you know my love is true –

If you stay away not giving your trust?

I am not counting all that I had done

They are nothing still if you don’t believe

How could I ever show that you’re the one –

When you are giving me reasons to grieve?

I do not care what other people say

What matters to me is that we’re bonded

How could I ever fight them on my way –

When you’re not around and I am wounded?

I love you girl and I’ll ask for no more

Just believe and my heart will cease to sore.

Elaine had a flat affect after reading the poem. “Amo ni? La man ni labot sa akon ya,” she said to Susie.

“Anong wala man?” Susie snatched the copy from Elaine’s hands and emphasized some lines as she replied. “Lanie E. Nesmuzo. Indi pa na obvious? Interchange bala ang mga letters kay Elaine Muzones ang result. Gets? Yudi…crush siya ni Nyor.”

“Huh?” Elaine was in denial. She read the poem again and again. Ambivalence. She was part pleased, part angry.

“Girl, agi man na galing si Nyor,” Susie continued talking. “But look at the brighter side…super gwapa ka na gid guro nga pati agi nag-lalaki para sa imo…” And she laughed hard. Or basi as if lang na si Nyor nga naluyag sa imo…but ang brother mo gali ginalagas niya. Hmmm…duda lang ko.

Elaine went out of the office without any word.

Nyor was sending her text messages that night. She didn’t reply to any of it. When Nyor tried to miscall her, she put off her cellphone.

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being this and may You continue to shower us Your grace. Lord, indi na gid me ka agwanta. Amo gid ni gali ya? If amo ni siya gali ang consequence sang akon gin-ask, mayo pa iban na lang gin-ask ko. I realized Lord nga indi pa ko gali ready…kay indi pa ko gusto masakitan. Kabudlay sang sitwasyon ko Lord. I’m trying to contact Elaine pero la gid siya response. Nahuya man ko magpalapit sa iya sa school kay basi akig gid siya of what I’ve done. Almost tanan guro sa school kabalo na and basi natak-an siya nga ginasunlog sa akon. Lord, palangga ko gid bala si Elaine. At ease ko ya sa feelings ko sa iya kay at least, indi bawal. But indi ko man siya ma blame if ma-init siya sa akon. Na disappoint gid siya siguro sa pagkilala niya sa akon. And I understand if wala gid siya feelings for me. Ang sa akon lang tani Lord mapati man siya tani bala haw nga tuod nga love ko sa iya. Unrequited love is bad. Unbelievable love is worse. Gets mo Lord? I’m doing everything para ma pour out ko man feelings ko sa iya. Kay feeling ko malumos lang heart ko if sige ko pa ni tago. Lord, please help me prove to her that I love her. I’m willing to take the risk. After all, loving is enough than to taste all the world’s luxuries. Chos! Dalum Lord ay? Hehe. Baw kalawig na sang prayer ko. Sige, good night na lang Lord ah. Amen.

Thursday, 11pm.

Nyor: hi laine!

Nyor: hdlaw na ko cmu. msta na?

Nyor: akig u?

Nyor: laine, sorry na…pls reply.

Nyor: k…ok lng f d ka mg reply. i undrstnd. but pls let me explain…

Nyor: about bla sa whispers haw…i know it ws a bad idea. sori gid if damu ga-sunlog sa imo. but i only did an honest thing.

Nyor: laine, palangga ta gd ka bla. i dunno…na develop lng ni guro sng pirmi na ta updanay. i know it’s weird for you. but i’m honest with my words.

Nyor: nong mikoy ws just an infatuation. kun wla me gani guro nag-buang buang cya, la ta gd ka na-close gd. but laine, please beliv me…i love u.

Nyor: it hurts seeing u evrydy in skul and i am shy to approach u. tani la na lang gd me na-fall. and tani di ka lang mangakig sakun. i’m not expecting for anything man…

Nyor: cge laine ah…gud nyt na lang. tekers!

It was week before the presentation of the Ang Manugtapas Tubo. The tickets had been sold and rumor had it that many people would be watching because part of the proceeds would be for Gawad Kalinga. At first, Nyor was excited. But as the event was nearing, he was losing his enthusiasm. He was even thinking of not watching the play at all. La man me ginasapak ni Elaine. Ti, plastikanay na kami karon ya mag lawag na credits?

“Hoy murat!” Violy muttered to his friend with a snap in front of his face. “Gina ka pa ga drama sa library. Ano problem mo haw? Share.”

Nyor sighed. They sat at the bench they found along the corridor. “Kalain sang feeling ko friend. Kung kabalo ka lang nga daw gusto ko na maglupok.”

“Gaga! Lupok gid ya? Share na gani…basi may ma help pa ko.”

“Kay ambot ah. Ngaa nagluyag-luyag pa aketch ya man. Nainit aketch ah.”

Violy reached for Nyor’s hand and said, “Si Mikoy?”

“Indi ah!” Nyor freed his hand from his best friend. “I told you already…daw instrument lang to siya ya. My acquaintance with him led me to his sister. And amo na subong ginalibog sang ulo ko.”

“Ayteh…so si Elaine?”

“Yup. Kabalo ka nga gapalayo siya sa akon?”

Violy turned away from Nyor. Her attention was on two lovers doing PDA nearby. “Haay Nyor…kay ikaw man bi. Kadasig sa imo mag move. Sin-o man bi indi maglain buot sina? Nagbarakang ya ang ngalan ni Elaine sa Whispers.”

“So you think amo na ang reason? Actually, la me kabalo why I did that. Nag submit lang man ko thinking that there’s nothing wrong.”

“Nothing wrong man?” Violy now looked at Nyor straight to the eyes. “Friend, kun ako man bi sa place ni Elaine, makibot ako ya. Naluyag ka sa magulang ko and then sa akon naman? Daw gin-tuhug mo kami ya? And besides, it’s weird…unusual…bizarre…”

“ANO MAHIMU KO?! Amega, I thought ka understand ka sang feelings ko? La gid me choice eh. Namanul lang ko ya and I understand the consequences sang ginpangayo ko. Pero natabo na ni…I have to try at least…talagsa lang man ni…”

“Ka intsindi ko sang ginabatyag mo Nyor ah. Ako pa? Damu na lalaki nag-agi sa life ko. Binalde na gani nga luha napa-gwa ko…” Violy said it upon noticing that her best friend was about to cry. “I always think Nyor that you are special. You’re not abnormal ah…pang MMK ang story mo chay…”

Nyor seemed not to recognize the joke. A few moments later, he burst into tears and forgot that they were in an open corridor.

Violy offered her shoulders quickly. It was the first time that she had done such because all throughout their friendship, Nyor had never cried. “Friend…shhh…sige hibi lang…but daw ari kita sa corridor no…medyo silent cry lang tani…”

“Ka heavy na gid sang feelings ko bi amega,” Nyor finally voiced out sobbing. “Palangga ko gid ya si Elaine. Ang ginalain lang gid sang buot ko ya is…inang daw wala bala sang nagapati haw. Okey lang nga wala gapati iban nga tawo…but tani bisan si Elaine ma-believe lang.”

Violy offered her handkerchief. She kept on caressing Nyor’s back. Ngaa si Elaine pa Nyor haw? Ako love ta ka…but la ka man gani interest sa akon. “Haay Nyor…dapat ready ka na nga ma-hurt.”

“I never thought it would hurt this much. Nainit ko…nainit ko sa self ko! Feeling ko I’m the boy who cried wolf…la na may naga-believe sa akon.”

“Na-shock lang na anay sila Nyor. Well, they thought you are the Nyor gid ya nga as in Nyor nga kilala nila.” Biskan ako gani na-shock man.

“I’m a faggot…but don’t I have the right to fall in love with a girl?”

“Well, don’t expect that society isn’t cruel. Sometimes, life’s unfair-”

“BASTA NAINIT KO AH! Life was better before I fell in love.”

Nyor continued crying on his best friend’s shoulder. He never spoke again. Violy remained quiet too.

“Hoy Elaine! Daw ka-blanko sa imo da haw?” Susie quipped. She noticed that one of the scriptwriters of their play was having a flat affect for quite a time while they were fixing up the curtains for the presentation.

“Huh? Ano?”

Susie dropped her work and approached Elaine. “Ikaw ay isang babaeng nawawala sa sarili.” She chuckled. “Sin-o ginapaminsar mo? Si Nyor ay?”

“Ah…” Elaine couldn’t say a word. If only Susie knew many things are running in her mind and she wanted to be alone that moment.

“Ano? I’m asking you about your co-scriptwiter…”

Elaine finally replied, “Please lang bi, let’s not talk about him.”

“Ay…sorry friend…sige, mapalayo na lang ko…”

“No. Please stay,” Elaine grabbed Susie by her arms. “Sorry man…I’m not in the mood actually…”

Susie sighed. “Ang mga amo na bala nga butang sister gina storyahan gid na para mag lessen ang weight.”

There was silence for a few seconds.

“Okey…sige bi haw…what do you think of Nyor?” Elaine had her arms crossed on her chest.

“Hmmm…okey man lang si Nyor ah…” Susie couldn’t speak continuously. She didn’t know how to say the right words. “Sa pagkakilala ko kay Nyor…hmmm…buot siya, tawa updon, alam…amo lang na eh, he’s gay…but as I said, la na guro mas hihigit pa sa love sang isa ka agi nga ready magpakalalaki para lang sa isa ka girl? Tsakto man sis?”

Elaine remained silent. The words of Susie were running in her mind. La na guro mas hihigit pa sa love sang isa ka agi nga ready magpakalalaki para lang sa isa ka girl…

Susie continued. “And then…indi man gid na guro agi si Nyor ah…confused lang…well, at this age ya, damu man guro ga-face sa ginatawag nga identity crisis. Maybe Nyor is getting there, finding himself…and he chose to be a man! Sini nga time ya, ang sex sang tawo depende sa iya nga preference. Kung girl ka and gusto mo ya nga ma recognize ka as tomboy, go, no one can stop you…”

Elaine still remained silent. May point si Susie.

“Hoy sis! Speak man da bi…and ngaa ako ya ginapa-discuss mo about kay Nyor ya man? Ikaw ya ang involved. Aber…if I were to ask you…may chance man si Nyor haw? I mean, out of love…not out of pity?”

Silence.

Susie insisted for Elaine to answer. “Ano? Sabat…”

“I dunno,” Elaine answered.

Susie sighed for the nth time. “Ah ti huo…amo man gid na pirmi. Deep inside kabalo ka na sang answer but all that you can say is ‘dunno’.”

At that moment, Elaine’s cellphone rang. She took it out of her pocket and read the message.

Nyor: hi laine. akig k p skun?

Reply? Indi. Reply? Indi. Reply? Indi.

Elaine: d ah.

She couldn’t bear it anymore. The feeling had caused Violy anxiety for many weeks. Maybe Mama won’t mind if I tell her. She had been treating my best friend as her own son.

Josie opened the door of her daughter’s room and found her hugging her favorite Winnie the Pooh stuffed toy while reading a pocketbook. “Darling, drink anay milk o para nami tulog mo…”

Violy smiled seeing her mother approaching with a glass of milk. Timing gid. “Baw si Mama ah, dako na me pro…tani ako na lang nag timpla…”

“Ah ari na ah…besides, I missed doing this. Sige na, imna na.”

Violy drank the milk unceasingly until there was none left.

“Good girl. Hehe…ti sige na…good night pangga…” Josie got the glass and stood up preparing to leave. But she was surprised when her daughter pulled her back to her bed.

“Ma, please diri lang anay, ma i-sugid ko tani sa imo…”

To Violy’s surprise, her mother’s eyes widened as if seeing a ghost. “Susmaryusep Violy! Don’t tell me…don’t tell me gabusong ka?”

Violy sighed. She didn’t know whether to laugh or not. “Si Mama bala ah…it’s not that ah…and it’s nothing serious…”

Josie made a sign of the cross before listening.

“Ma, naluyag ko kay Nyor.” As if a thorn was pulled out of her butt when Violy said the words. She felt nervous however when her mother gave her a flat expression.

Then Josie’s mouth curved to a smile. “That’s great darling…mayo pa nga mangin kamo ni Nyor. At least indi ka ya masakitan…”

Violy’s excitement burst. “AS IN OKAY LANG MA?! Okay lang sa imo nga mangin kami ni Nyor?”

“I admit daw ka saw-a, well…ma mature pa man na si Nyor ah…and for you, kung sa diin ka masaya, the suportahan ta ka…”

“YEHEY! I love you Ma!” Violy hugged her mother. “Galing, daw di man siya interested sa akon.”

“Ngaa man?”

“Basta…actually Ma, nag-start lang man ni ang feelings ko for him sang gintagaan niya ko textmate. Ang name si Doms…and daw abot ko bala nga siya man na bala haw. Ginabuking ko siya gani kis-a pero daw gina-deny niya…”

“Nahambal mo na sa iya haw nga love mo siya?” Josie asked her daughter who seemed to have teary eyes.

“La pa…nakulbaan ko bi…and daw may problem man siya nga daan…but I’m planning to break this up with him ASAP…”

“Dapat lang…basta may ginabatyag ka sa isa ka tawo, ihambal dayon para di ka na mabudlayan. Kabalo ka, si Papa mo naghambal na siya sa akon nga palangga niya ko samtang ginalagas niya ang Ceres nga ginasakyan ko sang una.”

“Ayteh.”

They laughed.

Violy had a peaceful slumber that night.

The official soundtrack of Nyor’s life was changed from Ulan of Cueshe to Lagi Mo Na Lang Dinededma by Rocksteddy. He particularly loved the ad lib part of the song.

Mahal kita pero hindi mo lang alam
Hindi mo alam kasi hindi mo naman ako tinitignan
Ayaw mo naman itanong sa akin
Kasi baka nga naman hindi naman ikaw
At hindi ko rin naman sa'yo sasabihin
Kasi ayoko pa sa ngayon na manligaw
Mahal kita pero hindi nga lang halata
Hindi halata kasi wala naman akong ginagawa
Hindi ako kumikibo, hindi ako nagsasalita, wala!
Pero hindi ako torpe
Hindi ko lang talaga masabi sa'yo ng harapan
Mahal kita pero dehins mo pa rin ramdam
Hindi mo ko titignan, hindi rin kita titignan
Lagi mo lang akong pakikiramdaman
Lagi rin kitang pakikiramdaman
At araw-araw tayong magdededmahan
Hanggang sa tayo ay magkabistuhan
Pero ngayong malapit nang matapos ang kanta ko
Nais kong magkaalaman na
Nais kong ako na rin ang magsabi sayo ng harapan
Kasi alam kong dun din naman ang tuloy nyan
At dalawa rin lang naman ang posibleng sagot dyan,

Oo o hinde
Kaya eto na sasabihin ko na para matapos na
At hindi na magka-tsismisan pa
Sasabihin ko na para wala nang problema
At para hindi na rin kayong lahat nabibitin pa…

He was humming the song’s tune as he went to school one Wednesday morning. It was the day before the presentation of Ang Manugtapas Tubo. On his hand he kept on watching his cellphone where the last message of of Elaine was on the screen.

Elaine: d ah.

They were just three letters but it gave too much joy to Nyor. It brought him hope. She’s not mad at all! Haay…tani masapakanay na kami…

As soon as he arrived at school, he proceeded to the KTG office for Mrs. Treyes’ final instructions of the events on the morrow. He found the office too messy and everyone was busy polishing everything.

“Hey Nyor!” Susie said as she appeared from a tower of cloths. “Ari ka na…pangita ka ni Mrs. Treyes…ato sila sang mga actors sa backstage sang quad...”

“Thanks Sus.”

Nyor’s heart beated like a stampede in an African savannah when he found Mrs. Treyes. The KTG’s adviser was talking to Elaine. Shit. Ari naman ko. Nahuya ko ah. Manago na lang ko anay…

He found a deserted corner and decided to hide there. But he was recognized by one of the actors before he reached the spot.

“Ma’am, ari na gali si Nyor.”

Everybody’s eyes were on him.

“Hello pips…hehe…hi Miss…sorry na late ko…” He felt like a melting cheese as he approached the crowd and towards Mrs. Treyes. “Hi Laine,” he said looking at the love of his life.

Elaine smiled but said nothing.

“Good morning Mr. Gregas. I’m giving you both my advance congratulations for the success of the play tomorrow. Bravo!”

Nyor felt something wet hit his skin. But he had none the cares for now with Mrs. Treyes’ saliva. He was stealing some glances from Elaine. He couldn’t help it but appreciate her pretty lips.

“Now Mr. Gregas…I was talking to Ms. Muzones a while ago…I’m asking a favor from both you…”

YES! GO! I’M EXCITED! “What is it Ma’am?” Nyor asked.

“The Administration gave us a budget for food tomorrow…might be a success dinner or something after the play…”

SHOWERS.

“…The problem is they gave us a check and I don’t have time to process this. The check can only be processed at BPI 17^th Lacson St. branch…”

SHOWERS.

“…Now, I asked help from my assistant….Ms. Mañego to help me with the check…she will be at the bank by 11am…

SHOWERS.

“…I’m requesting you two to carry this check with you and meet Ms. Mañego at the said bank. Is it okay?”

“Yes Ma’am,” said Elaine wiping her face with a white handkerchief. Yuck.

“Okay Ma’am,” said Nyor rubbing his moistened arms on his shirt. So gross.

“Good then. Thank you and oh, be careful, the check’s worth 5,ooo pesos.”

Mrs. Treyes left.

Elaine had the check.

Nyor didn’t know what to do.

Mary Jane made him psychotic.

He was addicted to Cannabis sativa when he was 14 years old. Peer pressure was behind it. And besides, he wanted to have another world, away from his mother who was seeing another man, and his father who beated him hard everytime he gets a mistake in a 20-item quiz.

He grew up fed with golden spoon and fork. But what’s a luxuxrious life without a loving family?

To hell with the world.

He would spend his allowance buying the weed. He would end up penniless on weekends and crave for the drug even more. So he would cling to his GFs. Karen, Melissa, Vinni, Jyra, Violy…

When his father, though, discovered about his wrongdoings, he threatened him to be put at the rehabilitation center or be disowned.

He chose to be disowned. I was never your son….never.

Thus began his lowest times. He was poor as a rat, living in the city without any financial support from his parents. His girlfriends left him one by one, as they were only after his money once. Even Violy whom he thought he could always rely.

The withdrawal symptoms were worse when he could no longer afford to buy marijuana. He was craving for it but there was nothing he could do. It was driving him mad. He was having distorted perceptions . He was engulfed by pranaoia.

I can’t take this anymore. I need Mary Jane to live…

They were speechless inside the jeepney on the way to the bank. If it wasn’t with Mrs. Treyes’ request, they wouldn’t be caught in such an intimidating situation.

10:15am.

Nyor was counting the coins from his purse, doing such business to hide his anxiety. Katalaka may Ma’am ah. Ano man? Shall I talk to her? This is the chance na. Go! Ay, indi na lang ah. Basi dedma lang. Huya ko.

Elaine, on the other hand, was pouring out her anxiety with her cellphone. She was pretending to be sending a text message but actually, she was just playing Snake II. Torpe gid ya! Daw siya pa ya ang girl sa amon duha. Ano gusto niya ako pa una talk? Di lang gid me akig sa iya po. Chance niya na nga pamatud-an nga laki gid siya…and love niya ko…

“Lugar lang!” the two chorused seeing the signboard of BPI. They were still speechless as they went out of the vehicle.

10:30am.

Things got worse. Nyor and Elaine were surprised to see Mikael inside the bank.

“Manong! Ari ka man?” Elaine said hugging his brother. Nyor became invisible.

“Ah…kay nag process ko sang ATM ko. Ma-graduate na ko nga daan…hambal ni Dad ma practice na ko kuno gamit…” And Mikael turned to Nyor whose face was scarlet. “Hello…di ba ikaw si Nyor?”

Nyor couldn’t believe that his once crush was now talking to him face to face. Shit! Daw mabalik feelings ko haw…Lord, help me…fight temptation…fight temptation…love ko si Elaine…love ko si Elaine…

“Uy, Nong…hehe…musta…gin-updan ko gali si Elaine ah…may ginsugo sa amon ang teacher namon…” He spoke like a man with a bedroom voice.

“Ah ok…nice meeting you…” and Mikael offered for a handshake.

Dipuga! Ano ni man? La malisya ah. He had no choice. Nyor shook hands with Elaine’s brother.

Ano man? Ginakilig pa siya ayhan? Elaine thought.

“La pa man ko ka-inquire kay ka kalawig sang pila. Teh upod na lang ta anay…

“Ahem!” Elaine muttered. Mayo pa Nong, para mabal-an ko kung sin-o gid sa aton palangga ni Nyor.

Nyor’s anxiety doubled. Tapat na. Daw mabuang ko ah…tani la na lang nagpakita si Nong Mikoy ah. Pero indi ah…kay Elaine ko ya…si Elaine ang love ko…

They sat on the monobloc chairs.

10:45am.

The arrangement of their seats is as follows: Mikael – Elaine – Nyor. Nyor was the most anxious among the three. How he wished that Ms. Mañego would appear as soon as possible.

His cellphone beeped and he read the message.

Violy: Amega! =) Treat ta ka kron sa ryal caribs. Hehe. May chika ko dyon cmu.

Nyor smiled and replied.

Nyor: k.

10:50am.

Mikael’s cellphone rang so he excused himself to go to the CR and answer the call.

Nyor had a chance to talk.

“Laine?” He touched her shoulder which caught her attention.

“Ano?” Elaine replied. Haay salamat nagpakalalaki gid man…

“Laine…sorry gid ha…for everything…”

“Sorry? There’s nothing to be sorry…”

“About your brother…Laine...please believe me…I think God just made him an instrument for me to meet you...ikaw ya ang palangga ko subong Laine…I swear…tani patihan mo man ko…”

“Nyor-”

“Don’t say…okey lang…I understand nga la ka gid feelings for me…you deserve someone better…someone manly…”

“Nyor-”

“…Basta Laine palangga ta gid ka…God knows…”

11:10am.

HOLD-UP!

It happened all of the sudden. Everyone was horrified when the body of a guard fell lifeless on the floor with a knife sticking on his back. Everyone screamed but they were silenced when there came a bang from the holdupper’s gun. The second guard inside the bank fell bloddy on the floor.

“HIPOS KAMU! HIPOOOS! PSST…MISS, DA…DASIGA…IBUTANG ANG KWARTA SA BAG…” The holdupper threw a black bag towards a woman in the accounting area. The horrorstricken woman immediately pulled out the drawers and began placing the money into the bag.

“HAAAY…KANAMI SANG LIFE AH… DAW GALUPAD LANG KO… KATAWHAY SANG KALIBUTAN… INDI KO NA GUSTO MAG UNTAT INI… GANI PASENSIYAHON NIYO LANG KO! KUN NGAA GINBUHAT KO INI!”

The holdupper had blod-shot eyes. He was obviously high in marijuana.

11:16am.

It took Nyor a few minutes to recognize the voice. The holdupper was psychotic enough not to place something in his face to conceal his identity. Nyor recognized the face…he was very familiar…

Kevin? Si Kevin gid! Tsakto…addict siya hambal ni Violy…I never thought it will lead to this…

To Elaine’s surprise, Nyor stood up and began talking to the crazy holdupper.

“Ke…Kevin…” Nyor was very nervous inside. “Kilala mo ko? Si Nyor…remember? Best friend ni Violy…”

The holdupper turned to Nyor. When he, too, recognized Nyor, he pointed the gun at him.

“IKAW! DIIN NA…DIN NA ANG BIGA-ON MO NGA VIOLY? SA DIIN SIYA SANG WALA WALA GID KO? GINBAYAAN KO NILA TANAN! MGA WALA PULOS NGA MGA BABAYI…MAYO PA SI MARY JANE…SI MARY JANE…”

It was visible in Elaine’s eyes. Kevin was about to pull the trigger.

11:20am.

“STOP!” Elaine now stood to defend Nyor. “Indi ni pag-himua…duwa na napatay mo…indi na pagdugangi…”

Thank God. Kevin withdrew the gun. But his attention now shifted to Elaine. Ka-gwapa nga babayi…maputi…mapula nga lips...parehos kay Mama…

Kevin’s voice suddenly became childish. “MA? IKAW NA?! MA ARI KO MA…MA MAY NAPATAY KO NGA TAWO…PALAPIT DI MA…” But his gun was pointing at Elaine.

At that time, Mikael came out of the CR and was surprised to see the mess at the reception hall of the bank. He had an adrenaline rush seeing that a man was pointing a gun at his beloved sister.

“ANIMAL KA!” Mikael screamed running towards Kevin to grab the gun.

The event was fast for the naked eye as Mikael and Kevin fought for the gun.

BANG! There came a shot.

BANG! There came another shot.

11:30am

Ms. Mañego arrived at the doors of BPI. Filipino time. When she heard two sounds which seemed to be that of a gunshot, she didn’t enter the bank but rather call the authorities.

Violy was happy. A few hours to go and her best friend would know how much she loved him. Nyor was absent in their classes that morning because he was excused by the KTG for the preparation of the play. After their classes that afternoon, she hurriedly went to the KTG office to fetch Nyor and treat him at Royal Caribbean.

It was 3 in the afternoon. She found the KTG office partly deserted and the floor was a mess. An actress who was undressing herself after the rehearsal asked about her business with KTG.

“Ano tani Miss?” the actress asked.

“Uhmm…asked lang me tani kun ara si Nyor?”

The actress surprisingly stood up from where she was sitting and approached Violy with a serious face.

“La ka pa kabalo?”

Violy’s heart beated so fast. “Sang ano haw?”

“May holdup kagina sa BPI…ato to sila ni Nyor kag ni Elaine…natirohan si Nyor…”

No…indi…ang best friend ko…

“…Ato siya subong sa Riverside Hospital…sa ICU…I heard, fifty-fifty daw siya…”

This is a nightmare…Nyor…may ihambal pa ko sa imo…

“…That’s why cancelled anay ang rehearsal…nagkadto na to tanan nga KTG members sa hospital…”

I got to go…I got to tell him before it’s too late…

“MISS?! Wait…upod na lang ta…wait…”

Violy was deaf with the actress’ call. She hurriedly rode a taxi bound to the hospital.

Lord God, thank You for all the blessings You had given me. May there be peace on earth. Forgive me for being…Lord? Is that You? Kasanag sa Imo Lord…daw mabulag ko…but I can see Your shape…

Lord,kapoy na me…

Lord, pwede ka pamangkot? Did I do the right thing?

Lord, I’m ready to go with You…

Nyor couldn’t see well with the dim light of the ICU. But he could hear some voices. Arrgh! He felt the pain on his chest for the first time.

His mother was there, and his three elder sisters. He heard from them while on bed that his father would be coming home from Saudi – after 10 years.

His last memory flashed back. Mikael and Kevin were strangling each other on the floor. There was a bang and he could no longer remember what happened.

“Nyor…Nyor…ari si Violy Nyor…” his mother woke him gently. He was excited but controlled his movements because the pains were unbearable. And he could hardly breathe. “Toto, ma talk kuno sa imo best friend mo…but mati ka lang ha…hambal sang doctor indi ka anay maghambal gid.” A silhouette came and sat at the chair beside him. He could recognize her face. “Sige Nyor, ma-gwa ko anay kay si Papa mo ga-call. Mga mga friends ka man gali sa gwa. Sila ni Manang mo nagbakal pa to fruits…”

Nyor’s mother left. After a few seconds, he could hear Violy sobbing.

Amega, ngaa ga-crying dramaeklat ka? Okay lang aketch ah…

“Nyor…” Violy began talking. “Don’t give up please…fight amega…matigulang pa ta ya…”

Gaga! Judi pa me ma tigokski ah…drama ah…

“…Nyor…palangga ta ka…”

Yes amega…palangga ta man ka…

“…More than a friend…Nyor, I want to grow old with you…I love you…”

WHAT? Is this true? Gaga nga Violy ah…naluyag gid siya ya sa akon?

“…Kabalo ko nga ikaw si Doms…the way ka mag text…and sang last time nga nag-wear ka green shirt sa National Bookstore…Doms…Domingo…ikaw gid ya si Doms Nyor…”

Langka ni bala ang friend ko ah. Shudel ah…

“…It turned out nga lalaki ka man gid…but iban pa nga girl nagustuhan mo…ari lang man ako diri…si Elaine pa ang naluyagan mo ya…”

Huh? Violy wake up…gaga ba you? If only you know sang plan ko sa imo amega…

“Nyor…kabalo ko nga you can hear me…please don’t leave me anay…I need you…”

“Vio-”

She thought she just heard something fell. But it was a voice. His voice! Nyor was trying to speak.

“Vio…ly…”

“Amega…shudel anay mag spyok…basi mag worse situation mo murat…” Violy was nervous. She wouldn’t forgive herself if something bad happens to her best friend.

“Lo…love ta man ka…but…but…as friend…”

Then Nyor never spoke again. I hope you’ll understand Violy. You’ll soon find a man that will love you…forever…

“I…I understand Nyor…I understand…indi na maghambal…okay lang…” She was holding back her tears. Sa imo ko na gani na learn amega…loving someone to the max without expecting something in return. I understand if wala ka feelings for me…but thank you…thank you coz you allowed me to pour out my love…

The headlines of TV Patrol – Bacolod was about the holdup incident at BPI.

Kevin Quisumbing was arrested by the police for killing two security guards.

Mikael Muzones III was in the room 405 of Riverside Hospital. His leg was hit by the bullet from the suspect’s gun which damaged severly his sciatic nerve. The doctors were preparing to tell his parents that he might no longer be able to walk again.

Elaine Muzones was in the television interviewed by a reporter.

“…Mr. Gregas was protecting me. He was hit by the bullet instead of me…”

The show must go on for KTG’s play the next day. The premiere was shown 2pm and there were a lot of viewers. Ang Manugtapas Tubo was a box office hit, breaking records of the past productions of KTG.

Everyone was amazed by the performance of Dominic Pahilanga, the neophyte actor of the club who portrayed Pedro, the male protagonist in the play. Girls were screaming when he was on stage. Dominic ‘Doms’ Pahilanga was Piolo Pascual in-the-making.

There was a moment of silence after the presentation for the two scriptwriters of the play.

“This play was written by Miss Elaine Muzones…”

APPLAUSE.

“…and Mr. Eduardo Domingo Gregas, Jr. “

STANDING OVATION.

At the same moment, the cardiac monitor attached to Nyor in the ICU displayed a straight line.

Lord God, may ara sang una nagawali sa Bacolod City Public Plaza about sa mga agi. Hambal kuno sa Bibliya, ang mga agi, tomboy, kag mga silahis wala gid lugar sa langit…

Sala ni bala namon Lord if we are this? Tawo man lang kami Lord…agi man kami, tomboy, ukon silahis, pareho lang man kami tanan nga makasasala…

Siguro may ara man gid iban nga parehos sa amon nga nagapaka-sala gid…you know what I mean Lord…but well, it’s up for us naman siguro to decide for our lives. Be ready lang galing to face the consequences…

I think Lord, I did the right thing. Loving someone greatly was the best thing I ever did before I died…just like You…You died on the cross for all of us…

And now Lord, I realize nga, from a certain point of view, wrong gali ang tawo nga nagwali sa plaza about sa amon. Thank You gid Lord. May lugar man kami gali sa langit…

Nyor would be buried at Rolling Hills Memorial Park. His father had come home indeed and cried for an hour upon seeing his only son inside a coffin.

At the memorial chapel, on the eve of Nyor’s burial, Elaine surprisingly visited.

“Tita…condolence…” Elaine said to Nyor’s mother as she gave a basket of flowers.

“Thank you hija…” Nyor’s mother replied as she kissed Elaine on the cheek. “…La na si Nyor…maybe happy na siya wherever he is now…”

Elaine didn’t know what to say. A tear mysteriously dropped from her eyes when she looked at the coffin. He’s the only man who ever loved me…

‘Nyor was very brave Tita…you should be proud of him…”

“Yes dear…we’re very proud of our son…and I understand…you’re the girl he only loved, isn’t it?”

Elaine blushed but never smiled. “Yes,” she answered. Then one of Nyor’s sisters offered her a seat.

“La na ko best friend…”

Elaine looked beside her and to her surprise, it was Violy who spoke.

“Violy…I’m so sorry…I know Nyor meant a lot to you…”

“I loved him. He loved you. Did you love him?”

Elaine couldn’t understand why Violy was speaking such words. She realized, though, that it was difficult to answer. “I…well…si Nyor…”

“Did you love him?”

“I was about to love him.”

“But then it’s too late.”

They never spoke to each other again after that.

It drizzled during the burial the next day. Many people attended to see Nyor one last time.

The dropping of the flowers was the most dramatic.

Nyor’s father. Forgive me, Junior ko…I was never a good model to you. Dako gid utang ko sa imo and I know that it’s too late to pay. But palangga ta ka, Toto…kun nag stay man ko sa abroad for many years, that is para magnami pangabuhi naton…

Nyor’s mother. Nyor, mahidlaw gid ko sa imo. Salamat gid sa help mo…sa panglaba, pamalantsa, hugas pinggan, panilhig…

Nyor’s sisters. Nyor…ngaa ginbayaan mo na kami…wala na kami baby…la na kami Barbie doll…

Tita Josie. For sure, mas namit ang baked chicken macaroni da Nyor sa heaven. I will miss you.

Violy. Amega, thank you gid sa tanan…sa ka-ekratan, sa mga okrayan, sa mga chuva choo choo…hehe…pati ah. Basta, ma miss ta gid ka…I will never have a best friend like you. Baw, na tigokski ka lang, la mo gid gin-ako nga ikaw si Doms ba! Hmp! Pero bisan di na ah…my heart tells me nga ikaw si Doms…and I love you…

Elaine. Nyor, I know I was never a good friend to you. Na confused lang gid ko eh. And about sa love, actually, I’m a newbie to the feeling also. Before you, la pa gid sang may nag dare court sa akon. Promise! Sori kun la ta ka ginpatihan at first. But now I believe you. After saving my life, I believe that you loved me.

Susie. Bongga ang burial mo Nyor! Ahay, ma miss ta ka sa KTG.

Mrs. Treyes. Bravo! Bravo!

The soil was next. And Nyor was finally sleeping peacefully six feet below the ground.

It was two weeks after Nyor’s burial. Violy still missed him but she had to move on. She was reading the magazines at the library one afternoon when a guy sat beside her.

Shocks! Kanamit sa iya. Baw! Kun buhi lang ang best friend ko, manguring-kuring naman ni siya tani…

“Excuse me…di ba ikaw si Violy?’

“Huh?” Violy was stunned when the handsome guy talked to her. “Uhm…yes…do I know you?”

“Di ba best friend mo si Nyor? Kay feeling ko ikaw ang ginhatag niya sa akon nga textmate last time. I’m Dominic Pahilanga gali…si Doms...” And the guy smiled revealing black braces on his teeth.

Violy couldn’t say a word. Gaga ka gid Nyor ya! But super thank you amega. Charito Solis!

FINIS

CHUVALECT GLOSSARY

2007-07-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

(Some gay lingo terms used in this novel)

Aketch – me

Alert – fast, make it fast

Anetch / Anetchiwa – what, what is it?

Boylet – guy, man

Chaka / Chakaness – ugly, ugliness, horrible

Charing – joke, an expression

Charito Solis – an expression

Charot – joke, an expression

Cheka / Chika – gossip

Chipangga – cheap

Chos – joke, an expression

Datongski – money

Dirilj – here

Dramaeklat – sad, sadness, looking sad

Dugayetch – long time

Es pates – an expression

Gwel – go out

Hitso – face, looks

Indiana Jones – not meeting a person

Jega-on – bitchy

Jubebang - drunk

Judi – no, not

Juging – gay

Julanetch – rain

Katalaketch – confusing

Keber – I don’t care

Kitana – see

Kuring-kuring – flirting

Kuring munding – correct, that’s right

Lafang – eat

Langka – fool, idiot, moron

Lobatis – low-battery

Modra – mother

Monyeka – funny person

Murat/Muraya Carey – lady, woma

Purita Lacson – poor, bankcrupt, no money

Shudel / Shudil – no, not, never

Siyada - talk

Soriso - sorry

Spyok – say, speak, talk

Tigokski - dead

Tigolbam – old person

Tom Jones - hungry

Tulogetch - sleep

Umbao – guy, man

Wersu – where, where are you?

Wez / Wiz - nothing

Whysu – why

*Gay lingo in the Philippines varies from every province. The gay lingo terms enumerated above are based in Bacolod City or in Negros Occidental